day 7!

If you were stranded on an Island, who would be with you and which limited ten items would you two have?

So, I would bring Lane, of course. And our ten items would be...

1. Condoms. We wouldn't want to be getting pregnant now, would we?

2. Clothes

3. Food

4. Water

5. Tents

6. Sleeping bags

7. Soap

8. Games

9. Weapons

10. Toothbrush

Haha that's all I could think of... I think those are the necessary things! Anyway, tomorrow I am getting a Brazilian wax! I am freaking scared lol. But I'm excited. :) Oh, I think I forgot to write about my weigh in on Friday as well. As of Friday, I'd been on the diet for nine days and I lose 8.5 pounds. Go me! I was so excited. Anywho, that's my short little update. Hope everyone has a good day!

Xoxo.

day 6!

A picture that makes you happy.

My best friend. Nuff said.

Xoxo.

catching up!

I've totally been slacking! Here are the last three days on the thirty day challenge haha.

Day 3- Your top ten pet peeves.

1. Lying.

2. Cheating.

3. Loud breathing/snoring.

4. Horrible driving.

5. People who are conceited.

6. Dirty things.

7. People who belittle people for no reason.

8. Cockiness.

9. When I'm super hungry but NOTHING sounds good to eat.

10. When I'm broke.

Day 4- What was the last movie you watched? Write about it.

As of right now, I'm watching All About Steve with Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper. It's about this woman named Mary (Sandra Bullock) who works at a newspaper writing the crossword section. Her parents set her up on this blind date with this man named Steve (Bradley Cooper) and she pretty much becomes obsessed with him haha. Steve works for a News channel and Mary follows him on one of his trips and Steve gets super freaked out by her. I'm not going to say what happens in the end but Steve ends up appreciating the person Mary is. It's a way good movie! I love it haha.

Day 5- Someone you would switch lives with for a day and why.

Miley Cyrus! I don't care what anyone else has to say about her, I think she is so cute and I love her voice. :) Also, if I were her I would tell everyone to suck my dick cause I no longer am 12 and I can dress a little slutty if I want cause that's what every other teenager out there is doing. It freaking pisses me off that just because she's a celebrity all these little girls are like, aww Miley Cyrus stood by a pole, let's freak out. Sorry, I'm getting carried away lol but it seriously makes me mad. People grow up! She's not going to be Disney channel forever. But I love her. :)

OH also, I know I freaking waited til the last minute but it wasn't really my fault, but I finally did my taxes yesterday and I'm getting $1000 back! Yesss! Unfortunately, I think it's all going to my dad lol. The only reason I'm getting all that back is because he paid for my schooling out of his pocket, but I'm sure he'll give me some money. But even if he doesn't, I'm happy to give my dad back his money since I effed up my first couple years. :) Yay for taxes!

Xoxo.

the last few days..

Needless to say, the last couple of days have been super hard on me. This post is going to be pretty long, so I'm just going to forewarn anyone who is reading this.

So, I got back from Tooele Thursday night after being there since Tuesday. Pretty much a lot has been going on. As everyone knows who's been reading my blog or has me on Facebook, Josh passed away. Honestly, I didn't think I would take it this hard cause we hadn't talked in SO long. But my mind hasn't been off of him since it happened. I've had this pit in my stomach and it just makes me super sad. :( I had to pick Phillip up from Provo on my way to Tooele and it was a pretty crazy ride there. I found out quite a few things that I didn't know and it was interesting, to say the least. We got to Tooele and we met Sam at Jim's to eat. My favorite place in Tooele. :) I loved spending the day with them! They're two of my best friends in this world, and since we're all going through the same thing right now (obviously me and Sam aren't as bad as Phillip) we can all be there for each other and make each other smile. :) I love my friends.

Wednesday was the day of the viewing, but I decided not to go that night. Sam was going with Kristi and Kirsten was supposed to go with me but that didn't end up happening, so I just stayed home and decided I would say goodbye to Josh before the funeral the next day. Phillip came over that night at like, 11 and didn't leave til 1:30 in the morning. I'm glad I can help him out by giving him someone to talk to in his time of need.

The next morning Alyssa called me and asked if I wanted to go to lunch with her and her baby sister, Shaybree. We ended up going to La Frontera, which I haven't been there in FOREVER, so I'm glad we went. But it wasn't as good as I remember it. After lunch, I went straight to the funeral. I was an hour early or so, so no one was really there yet besides the family. I found Sam and Kristi and gave them both a hug and sat down. They had a beautiful slideshow playing for Josh of his life. He was so happy in all of the pictures... From a baby, all the way til recently. The pictures that made me smile the most were the ones of him and Brooklyn. She loved her daddy so much... I just wish he would've known that.

After watching the slideshow, I went to find Phillip who was in the room that Josh was in. Phillip was seated in the back, so when I sat down I could only see a part of Josh's face... I immediately started crying. It's one thing to see an "old" person like that, someone who has lived their lives and it really was their time to return to God, but it's quite another to see someone so young lying there, their life not even begun yet. Phillip held my hand as we walked up to Josh's casket and I started crying even harder. He didn't even look like himself in there... But what do you expect? I've never seen a friend like that. When Jordan died, the line was way too long to even get a glimpse of him. Which I was sort of grateful for. So Josh is my first friend I've actually seen like this, and sadly I know it won't be my last.

Josh's service was beautiful. So many people had such nice things to say about him. I wish he knew how loved he really was and that he could've come to ANYONE in that room, and we would've done anything we could've to help... There were so many people there for you, Joshy. We all love you and miss you very much. :( I'm so grateful to call you my friend and I know you're in an amazing place right now. I love you.

Xoxo.

day 2!

Post your favorite song and write why you like it.

K so as of this moment, my favorite song is "What The Hell" by Avril Lavigne.

I like it cause of the beat and the lyrics are pretty on key, too. ;)

So, today was Josh's viewing. I was going to go with Kirsten but she ended up ditching me, so I decided not to go. I feel uncomfortable going to them anyway so I just told Phillip to come over to my house after if he needs to. Which I think he's going to. He's doing as well as he could be, but he's acting so strong. I'm so proud of him. I mean, everyone handles their grief differently, but I love that he's not this depressed person 24/7. He has his moments, which he should, but Josh wouldn't want him upset all of the time. Anyway, today has been a pretty hard day for me as well. I really missed my family, so I'm glad to be home. But it doesn't feel the same to be here. I feel like I have no friends. I hate sitting at home with nothing to do. Blah. Whatever, I just have a big hole in my tummy today. :( I hate it. I hope everyone else has had a good day, though.

Xoxo.

day 1!

I have such a pathetic life that there would be no point in me having a blog unless I did 30 day challenges so here's another lol.

Day 1- Write about your best friend.

Lane Joseph Kirby. The love of my life. He's my support and I can talk to him about anything that's on my mind and he listens and understands. He messes up sometimes, but not everyone is perfect. Love you, Laney.

Xoxo.

R.I.P. Josh Austin!

A few days ago, an old friend of mine passed away. It was such a shock! I seriously couldn't believe it. My day was going normally as usual, until Katelyn text me and asked me if I had Brigit (his sister) as a friend on Facebook. I was like, "Yeah, why?" Katelyn asked if Josh had died or something and I said I didn't know, but I'd call Sam to find out because Sam is best friends with the girl who is having Josh's second baby.

So, I call Sam and no answer. I think nothing of it until Phillip texts me that night while I'm trying to go to sleep. Phillip and I talk often, but he rarely texts me that late. It was like, 10:30 my time so 11:30 his time. Pretty much Phillip had asked me if he could have me for a day when I come home in May cause he needs a hug. Of course I ask him what's going on and that's when he tells me. "Josh is dead. He hung himself this morning." At that moment I instantly started bawling. I woke Lane up hysterically crying. I had no idea what to do.

Josh and I hadn't talked for a while, but the summer of 9th grade Phillip, Josh, Alyssa and I were pretty close! We hung out quite a bit. No matter how long you go without talking, it's always sad to hear one of your friends have passed away. For me, this is two friends in six months. :( A little too much at one time.

While I am way sad about Josh, I am SUPER concerned about Phillip. He's my best friend and his brother just died. How does someone handle that? I'm going home tomorrow to be with him for the funeral, but it's just hard to be there for someone through something like this. I just don't know what to say to him to make him feel better. I know being there for him is the best thing to do so that's what I'm doing. I just worry that I'm not doing a good job.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that Josh is very loved and missed and I wish he could've talked to someone about his problems instead of doing this. :( I know there was a better way out. Rest in peace buddy, we love you.

Xoxo.