Needless to say, the last couple of days have been super hard on me. This post is going to be pretty long, so I'm just going to forewarn anyone who is reading this.
So, I got back from Tooele Thursday night after being there since Tuesday. Pretty much a lot has been going on. As everyone knows who's been reading my blog or has me on Facebook, Josh passed away. Honestly, I didn't think I would take it this hard cause we hadn't talked in SO long. But my mind hasn't been off of him since it happened. I've had this pit in my stomach and it just makes me super sad. :( I had to pick Phillip up from Provo on my way to Tooele and it was a pretty crazy ride there. I found out quite a few things that I didn't know and it was interesting, to say the least. We got to Tooele and we met Sam at Jim's to eat. My favorite place in Tooele. :) I loved spending the day with them! They're two of my best friends in this world, and since we're all going through the same thing right now (obviously me and Sam aren't as bad as Phillip) we can all be there for each other and make each other smile. :) I love my friends.
Wednesday was the day of the viewing, but I decided not to go that night. Sam was going with Kristi and Kirsten was supposed to go with me but that didn't end up happening, so I just stayed home and decided I would say goodbye to Josh before the funeral the next day. Phillip came over that night at like, 11 and didn't leave til 1:30 in the morning. I'm glad I can help him out by giving him someone to talk to in his time of need.
The next morning Alyssa called me and asked if I wanted to go to lunch with her and her baby sister, Shaybree. We ended up going to La Frontera, which I haven't been there in FOREVER, so I'm glad we went. But it wasn't as good as I remember it. After lunch, I went straight to the funeral. I was an hour early or so, so no one was really there yet besides the family. I found Sam and Kristi and gave them both a hug and sat down. They had a beautiful slideshow playing for Josh of his life. He was so happy in all of the pictures... From a baby, all the way til recently. The pictures that made me smile the most were the ones of him and Brooklyn. She loved her daddy so much... I just wish he would've known that.
After watching the slideshow, I went to find Phillip who was in the room that Josh was in. Phillip was seated in the back, so when I sat down I could only see a part of Josh's face... I immediately started crying. It's one thing to see an "old" person like that, someone who has lived their lives and it really was their time to return to God, but it's quite another to see someone so young lying there, their life not even begun yet. Phillip held my hand as we walked up to Josh's casket and I started crying even harder. He didn't even look like himself in there... But what do you expect? I've never seen a friend like that. When Jordan died, the line was way too long to even get a glimpse of him. Which I was sort of grateful for. So Josh is my first friend I've actually seen like this, and sadly I know it won't be my last.
Josh's service was beautiful. So many people had such nice things to say about him. I wish he knew how loved he really was and that he could've come to ANYONE in that room, and we would've done anything we could've to help... There were so many people there for you, Joshy. We all love you and miss you very much. :( I'm so grateful to call you my friend and I know you're in an amazing place right now. I love you.
Xoxo.
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